Big Scary Monster

Decision. Indecision, the ability to make choices, even the simplest, the most basic of choices all stem from the ability to make an initial decision. Deciding who you are is by far the most-second difficult decision you can make. The most difficult is the decision whether or not things, stuff, ideas and concepts, actually have meaning. Once you've made the decision on the level of meaning the thought of an idea, how much of a meaning it might have, then you can decide on what, which ideas and concepts have the most meaning to you. From here you run into the Dichotomy paradox of making decisions. The first is always the biggest, and each afterwards is half of the original. The size of these decisions is really the importance and specificness of each. Whether or not you want peanut butter or cheezewhiz on your toast in the morning is fairly deep decision into the process, you've made a core decision about the basics of life and idealism, many decisions have followed post this initial decision and sliced the importance of the initial major decision so thin that what you butter your burnt bread with really has little affect on the number of further divided decisions following. You will observe people in life who have made, and stuck to these core decisions, whether wrong or not. They are dividers of the world, the kings and queens of society, leading followers of similar beliefs while offending or disagreeing with the rest. Consider for a volume of the population who have not been so decisive. The general public has a wide range of decisiveness, but their inability to be whole heartedly convinced of their initial decisions, the most basic of life, results in their in ability to lead. Worker bees most of us, not just from a sense of duty, but rather a need for direction, someone being decisive on their behalves.  For some, like myself, it's incredibly difficult to make an initial decision on the meaning of life, ones purpose to live.  Efforts to live, and continue to live come into question, with no purpose comes no real reward.  What's this got to do with cars? Recently I was asked why I don't post on the blog anymore. People enjoyed it, a passion, with expression. Recently though my initial decisions, core values have come into question. The passion I built up for cars, the decision I made to love them, although a decision close to that of my core values, is a smaller slice in comparison to those it is based on. Purpose, reality, are all shattered, and it's proving extremely difficult to choose again. Until then, I'm not sure what to do with myself or with my love for cars.

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  • […] of the strongest focus’s I’ve had in my life, become a ‘responsible adult’. Big Scary Monster  was a post I made early on in my changes, it is one of the few times I’ve been able to […]

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  • To the world you are speedhero, but to speedhero you are the world. Backgrounds and circumstances my affect on who we are but we are responsible for who we become.

    • Anonymous
  • wow dude. that was a good entry. hope you can figure your shit out quinn, i know im there with you. and 90% of the people that think they’ve got it are the worker bees. i just got a good RSS reader and added you so i hope there is more speedhero in the future

    • do-bizzoy